I went to a South Yorkshire grammar school which became a comprehensive during my time there in the 70s. A few of us WERE spoken to about possible applications to Oxbridge, but it was presented quite negatively (“the school won’t be able to help you…”) and none of us gave it serious consideration. We discussed it as we walked away from the deputy head’s office and I remember we all felt we wouldn’t fit in – it would be full of snobby types and why would we want to go there?

I’ve no regrets – I did an English degree at Manchester and loved my time there, but 15 years later, as Head of English, I supported students preparing for the Oxford Entrance Exam which existed at that time, and seeing how excited they were by the intellectual challenge did make me wonder whether I would have enjoyed that too.

And then after teaching in four state schools I moved into the independent sector as a deputy, and then later to another independent school as a head. I’m glad John has such positive experience of independent/state sector partnership. I’ve been involved in this in a number of different ways and seen how everyone benefits – everyone contributes and learns.

The pupils in the schools where I was a deputy and then a head weren’t all from wealthy families. Many received financial support to be there (a good number on full bursaries because parental income was so low) and there were others whose parents lived a very modest lifestyle in order to afford the fees. But they were, generally, confident – ‘confidence without arrogance’ was our focus. They did a lot of public speaking over the years, took part in a great number of extra-curricular activities which built a range of skills, including leadership skills, and believed they could achieve. If they had Oxbridge potential they were encouraged and supported – but they weren’t pushed into this.

I’m aware of how much the independent sector has to learn from its state sector colleagues, for example re: the most dynamic teaching and learning, and new models of CPD. But there are experiences and insights they can contribute in return, if there’s the kind of receptivity John shows here.

Private schools have so many extra ‘enrichment’ opportunities; when students take advantage of these – be it in the Arts, Sport or Science – it makes them believe they will reach the top. Furthermore, when we observed lessons at the school, we didn’t see a learning objective in sight or lots of whizzy resources. What we do see though was students questioning their teachers eloquently and engaging in serious dialogue with their peers. Students were also given time to write in silence for extended periods of time without being interrupted to check on their progress!

We asked the deputy head at Highgate why so many of their students applied and were accepted to Oxbridge. He paused for a moment before saying: ‘Well, they are told from a young age that is where they will go if they work hard. There is a sense of entitlement, almost.’ It seems very un-PC to say these sorts of things but state schools need to learn these lessons from private schools, if our students are ever to compete with their privately-educated counterparts.

Whenever I have wanted to challenge underlying inequality, I’ve felt there are two actions that have a real effect. The first is to name, dispassionately, the truth. “Why do you think that most of this country’s politicians are white men from wealthy backgrounds?”. We can go a long way towards raising the aspirations of the students in our urban comprehensive schools by working to challenge the shame that you so beautifully describe in your payphone anecdote.

Frequently students in my inner London classroom who are of African or Caribbean descent will talk of how they are targets of the police’s “Stop and Search” actions. There are statistics to support their experience of inequality, and having been stopped once myself as a teenager and had my car searched by the police I do not underestimate the feeling of humiliation at this invasion. The difference though, is that I had recourse to a sense of outrage too, feeling as I did that social agents like the police existed in my service. This sense of entitlement is the right of us all, but accorded to strikingly few.

Before I start discussing with these brilliant young Englishmen their university aspirations, I first reflect on the fact that their path is a heroic one. I discuss with them that they must first overcome the internalised limitations that a life of such experiences engenders. I also, once again due to my New Zealand cultural values, show high levels of respect and recognition of the aspects of their own family and cultural background that mean they have as much to offer as to gain from the venerable institutions they may join in their sparkling future careers. They might even become our Prime Minister, the Chief Justice, a Head Teacher, a News Presenter, a successful Banker, a Police Officer, an artist… but perhaps not a future King.